A Reply to Notes on a Life Forgotten

As I read that blog entry I could somewhat relate to this person. I have my moments of insecurity, as well as days when I'm feeling depressed. This person however is at the very least a boderline sociopath. It's actually quite sad. 


I can't even picture my life without the connections I've made with the select few people that I can honestly say make me want to be here now. I know I have to put on a mask at times and play a role. I do that every day at some point or another, although I must say that some people play the role a little too much. I'm not one for kissing ass and saying shit to people just cuz it's what they wanna hear. If I have nothing good or nice to say to someone then I just keep my mouth shut. 


We all have that inner voice, the "little devil" or "angel" on our shoulder, that is always there. Mine is twisted, morbid and goddamn funny. There have not been many people that have seen that side of me, but those that have know what I mean. Some others only see part of it. I only show what I want to show and it makes things less complicated. Some people just don't get it, and they never will, but that's ok. I know that if some of the people I interact with on a daily basis could read my mind I would probably get arrested or thrown into a mental health facility. I know I'm not crazy, but I like that I am the way that I am. 


Yeah I'm a little fucked in the head, but at least I know it and admit it. I like the "dark" side of me. It makes me laugh. It entertains me. It helps me get through the mundane every day bullshit I have to put up with. It keeps me sane and balanced. So yeah I went off on a rant, but those of you that read this are used to it right? 


So to wrap this up, if you go through life without making true emotional connections with people and having real relationships, then you have nothing to look back on and nothing to look forward to. You have nothing of true substance in your life. I may not have much, but at least I have something.


Written by Thomas Ortiz
in reply to "Notes on a life forgotten"